Irving talked for about two hours, which included reading a portion of his new novel and a Q &A session. He said lots of great things , but two things come to mind when writing this blog.

Q. What was the worst writing advice you ever received?

A. “Write what you know.” Advice commonly attributed to Ernest Hemingway. Irving said if all writers followed that advice we would not have many of the best books ever written. Writers need to use their imagination, he said, and push the limits of what they know.

Q. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever received?

A. Herman Melville, “Woe to him who seeks to please rather than appall.” Irving closed with that quote but it built upon comments he made earlier in the evening.

His characters are on a collision course and we know it from the time we meet them, he said. He often writes about social outcasts and what he called “sexual outliers” [e.g. - characters who commit incest, a character who had sex with comatose man, characters who have sex once and never again in their lives…] because he sees a challenge in making them into sympathetic characters. But if you’ve read a John Irving novel, you know that he somehow manages to do it.

*SPOILER ALERT*

An example he gave was Dr. Wilbur Larch in “The Cider House Rules.” He said if we were to read about Larch in the newspaper, the headline would say something like “Ether-Addicted Orphanage Director and Abortion Doctor Dies.” Society might not have much sympathy for that man, but it’s a character we love. A complicated man with complex reasoning for the things he does.

The whole experience was creatively inspiring. Many moons ago I used to want to be a poet or a novelist,  something I eventually translated into a masters degree in journalism and a 9 to 5 to 6 or 7pm job. But last night I went home wanting to be a writer again. What a thrill.

ALSO: Waiting for the program to start was a wonderful opportunity to squeal over Meera’s recent engagement. EEEEE! I LOVE IT.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with a song that’s been on my mind ever since I heard it (on Delilah) the other night. It makes me want to sing karaoke and sway back and forth while snapping. Maybe I can make that happen.

Dr. Ugel was kind, but to the point. I could have plastic surgery to fix it, but that will leave a line. Or I could inject it with cortisone to possibly help even it out, but that’s not fool proof. Bottom line, it’s not going anywhere. He’s hopeful that with time it will fade and be less noticeable. He advised that I avoid a lot of sun and, in his words, “try not to think about it.”

Prior to this incident, I foolishly considered myself to not be vain, or at least I desperately tried not to be. But this was also confirmed today — I am vain. I cried on the metro today, people. I cried over a small mark on my face.

I fully acknowledge that this situation falls under the category of “small stuff” and, as the saying goes, we shouldn’t sweat it. But there is something incredibly unnerving about knowing Shingles changed my face. Permanently. My reflection is different now.

While visiting my parents over Easter, I leaned into a mirror in the guest bedroom. There’s a lamp on the dresser that illuminates from one side. The lighting created a shadow, highlighting the indented scar. Magnified it. I made a mental note – in photographs don’t allow lighting from the right side. Heck. Don’t allow lighting from the left side either.

I struggle writing this post because I know that by admitting it bothers me, it magnifies and highlights the fact that I worry about my appearance and about being considered attractive. As a former youth group leader and camp counselor, it’s all the things I tried to help young women combat. Because, as well all know, appearances fade and change. They are temporary. It’s the quality of the person–our inner souls–that  matter, not what people see when they look at us.

But through the process of exploring my feelings about this scar, I learned that “mutilation” is one of the top five fears we have as humans. According to Psychology Today, it’s the “fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure; the thought of having our body’s boundaries invaded, or of losing the integrity of any organ, body part, or natural function.”

All of this is to say, if you’re out there reading this blog and have a scar or blemish you’re obsessed with, despite your best efforts to feel otherwise, know that you are not alone. In fact, it’s one of only five major fears we share.

I’m going to work on accepting my scar as a mark of my  human experience. After all, it’s fascinating that things change and then remain permanent. I’ll try to keep you posted on how that’s going.

Delicious!

How-to: Preheat oven to 425. Rinse and thoroughly dry one bundle of kale. Tear kale into pieces and spread evenly on a baking pan. Sprinkle with olive oil, sea salt and black pepper. (Maybe even some garlic salt instead of sea salt.) Place in oven for 10 minutes. Remove and stir kale. It should be starting to slightly crisp on the edges. Return to oven for 10 more minutes. Remove from oven and squeeze one lemon slice over the kale. Watch Mad Men and enjoy.

2. BEST NEW RECORD: Cowboy Favorites

Best song on the record? Red River Valley.

3. BEST FIELD TRIP: Judiciary Square

We had a nice time.

A weekend adventure to the closest metro stop that we’ve never visited. Becky & Yanda tweeted the whole thing.

4. BEST PEOPLE TO WAIT IN LINE WITH FOR MANY HOURS TO SEE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN:  These people (and other people not pictured.)

Erin & Adam

5. BEST WEEKNIGHT CRAFT: Decorating Easter Eggs with Malaka

Green egg!

I try not to mix work and personal life on the blog, but I’m making an exception. Mostly because the interaction evoked such an emotional response that it felt personal.

In my job, I often have to interact with people who are disappointed in the organization for which I work. It’s  an enlightening experience. It’s impossible to be an expert in every subject and every field, so I genuinely appreciate the experts who live across the country (and around the world, for that matter) who take the time to correct misinformation or shed light on a misconception. There is nothing I love more than a good conversation.

But last week someone called upset and said, without prompting, “Do you know what we call girls like you? A c**t.”

I’ve been called many a name, but this was the first to really shake me up.

I believe in the weight of words. I believe they hold power. In journalism, the words we choose can shape debate. In my own life I desperately strive to select the right ones, although I often choose incorrectly.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines this particular word (which I am too modest here to spell out) as:

1. The female external genital organs.

2. Applied to a person, esp. a woman, as a term of vulgar abuse.

Following a too-good-to-be true brunch at Foode, Patrick and I did a little shopping downtown. I couldn’t believe my luck when I found a record featuring another Pat Cooper. What could be better than a Pat Cooper in a sandwich?!

Nothing. Proving once again that Fredericksburg is the best town in America.

(c) Becky

A few minutes later….

Photo by Becky. Ruined by Kyle.

Wait. What?

Colleague Andrew brought in cupcakes on my first day back at work. A reminder that I have the best coworkers:

Delicious treats from Cake Love.

Becky, that beautiful tropical fish, brought me gum to counter the stress that probably induced my shingles.

I’ve been chewing it all week. Any day now I’ll have courage and a balanced mind when losing control. See back of gum container:

Image enlarged for detail.

Still, the overwhelming response from people at large has been something like: “Shingles, ouch? Thought that was an old person’s disease.” (<—  From a real email.)

Well it is and it isn’t. From the Mayo Clinic:

Shingles is most common in people older than 50. The risk increases with age. Some experts estimate that half the people who live to the age of 85 will experience shingles at some point in their lives.

I suppose it depends on what you call old. I know lots of young people in their 50s and on up! But anyway, it happens to children. It happens to teenagers and it happens to young adults. My case was relatively mild. It’s much more serious when it happens to older adults who may have weaker immune systems.

Others have said I’m lucky that I got it now because I can’t get it again. Chances are good that I won’t get it again, but it’s not certain. From the New York Times:

Yes, you can get shingles a second time. Of the 20 percent of people who get shingles in their lifetime, some will get it again. Probably, this has to do with how much time has elapsed between episodes. The first bout of shingles boosts your immune response and particularly your cellular immune response — your T-cells — but that response declines over time, leaving you susceptible to a second case of shingles.

My colleague Andrew passed this image along:

(Cheers to Colleen for the photo!)

It’s true! There is a vaccine. It’s a single dose injection under the skin. But at this time, it’s only available to people over age 50. From the FDA:

Zostavax is the only US licensed vaccine that reduces the risk of reactivation of the varicella zoster virus, the same one that causes chicken pox, and remains dormant in the body after recovering from chicken pox.

So there you have it. Even more information about my current obsession. I’m planning to find a new obsession soon. Suggestions welcome.